BLOOD PRESSURE



BUTT WHAT

IS ANAL FIXATION

THE SAME AS

TERMINAL ASSHOLE

?

COJUNCTIVE COLITIS

IS WHEN YOUR SHIT

IS STUCK IN

YOUR

GUT

COLOSTOMY

ANAL ANALYSIS

RECTUM INSPECTION

ASSHOLE CHECK

ARD

ANAL RETENTION DEFICIT

IS WHEN YOU CAN'T

REMEMBER

SHIT

I WAS ADDICTED TO FOOD BUT

HAD TO GIVE IT UP

BECAUSE

...EVERYTHING I ATE TURNED TO

SHIT

MAZIN'



from; TAXI TIMES



CONFESSION

I was driving in Beverly Hills, Calif.  The crem' de la creme

if you please.

There were two kinds of people living there.  The common rich and the filthy rich.  They had a private club that they hung out at.  It was way back in a private residential area, away from the tourist.

Only movers and shakers went there.

One late summer afternoon I get a call for it and drive on up there. 

The parking attendant said my fare would be out shortly and directed me to park next to a brand new, sleek, shiney

Jaguar.

It was a deep forrest green.  Who ever owned it was obviously a person of status.  It was parked right next to the entrance where nobody could miss it going in.

It obviously said; I'm important.

When I backed in next to it I heard a noise.  Un-oh.  I pulled up and looked in my rear view mirror.

There was a nipple size dent the size of a quarter in that

shiney, new, forrest green Jaguar.

I was mortified

I had visions of being Bar-B-Qued by the pool

or hung from a cross till the birds picked the

flesh from my bones, not to mentioned

being fired.

I debated with my self what to do.  Confess to the valet or

be discreet. 

About then the valet flagged me.  The people got in the cab and I took them some where.

I've felt bad about that for years but now that I've confessed

I feel much better



CONFESSIONS

The TAXI CAB is the travelling

CONFESSIONAL

Jeus drives cab at night in Hollywood

Tell him your sin, give him a big tip and he takes it away into the night

You feel better......for a little while anyway.

The driver has a confession

The reason I drove for so many years was the

SEX

I got more pussy than anything I've done in my life

So much so, that now

I can only get off in cabs.

Now that I'm older, co-ordinating the girl, the cab and the Viagra is a real challenge.

THE SKINNY

The "skinny" from the back seat;

............THE ONLY QUESTION LEFT FOR AMERICA

IS

..WILL THE MEXICANS ACCEPT

ISLAM

???

??

?

OUT

How do you politely throw someone out of a cab

so they won't complain....!!!!!

You tell them;

.....if you don't like the way this cab is operated

you can always

SHOP AROUND...!!!!

CGA

There are three ways to pay for a cab ride

C-G-A

CASH -GRASS-ASS

QUESTIONS

In the cab at night there are many questions

One of the most common is the most obvious

The passengers asks......

How do I get out?

The conversation goes like this.

Open the door

How do I do that?

Use the handle

Where's it at?

On the door

Where at on the door?

Near the center

If you need more help I'll come back

there and help you out. 

D-uuuhhh!!

TWO BLONDES ON OPPOSITE SIDES OF A RIVER

ONE HOLLARS TO THE OTHER

....HOW DO I GET TO THE OTHER SIDE ?

THE OTHER ONE REPLIES

...SILLY, YOUR ALREADY THERE

D-UUUUUHHHH...!!!!!

MORE FAT

YOUR MAMA IS

SOOOO...!!!!  FAT

YOU GOTTA' TAKE A TRAIN

AND

TWO BUSES TO GET TO 

THE 

OTHER SIDE

MAN/WOMAN

GAWD CREATED 

MAN AND WOMAN

THINGS WENT DOWN HILL

FROM THERE

FAT

                                         

THE SKINNY 

from the

BACK SEAT

...is this;

Someone asked Rosie O'Donnel if she was fat because

she was a lesbian, or a lesbian because she was fat

?